Questioning the purpose of life
Why do I feel as though there is a sudden lack of things for me to do? Throughout the entire day, all I have done was to waste countless hours stoning in front of the computer. No action, no constructivity, simply a complete waste of time. There is only 24 days of the holidays left, so why can’t I spend it wisely? Like what Bing told me on MSN, this December holidays should be well utilised because it is extremely hard to come across so much time when I head towards JC2 next year. Dang… Suddenly, I wish that I got retained.
To tell you the honest truth, I am not looking forward to Year 2. Going up to Year 2 would only mean that there is only one fate in store for me at the end of 2004 — The Dreaded A’Levels. It is ironic how time flies. During this time last year, I was completely bubbling with euphoria at the end of the O’Levels and feeling an immense sense of freedom. But suddenly, I find myself back in the clutches of MOE and the dreaded education system.
Exams… exams… exams… Everything here is just too result oriented to an extent that there is no more meaning in studying. Pull out any student on the road and pose them this question.
“Why on earth do you study so hard for?”
Chances are, their one and only response would be “So that I can do well in my examinations and get into a good university.” What has happened to acquiring skills for the future? Isn’t that the whole purpose of studying in the first place? To learn how to support ourselves and to gain an awareness of the world around us? Sadly, this is no longer the case. These days, you’ll need that dratty piece of paper just to be someone in this world. Everyone’s world revolves around the GCE Exams, Diplomas and Degrees and there is immense competition wherever we go. What is the point of living?
Sometimes, the urge to pull out of this complex, paradoxical education system is extremely overwhelming. I need to find myself, and discover what I really want, and not follow what other people wants from me. For instance, why did I go to Junior College in the first place? To appease my parents. I could have easily stepped into Polytechnic and enrolled in a preliminary course in Psychology for further studies at the University in the future. But I didn’t. Why? Because I was given a flat out “No” to this educational path.
These days, we no longer have a say as to what we really want. Our future is pre-decided for us by our parents, or by anyone who controls our worlds. We no longer live for ourselves, but for others.
C O M M E N T S (11)
same sentiments, what to do. in singapore, chances are, pple judge u by your grades/ your school. does personality and dreams even count? no. that’s the hard brutal truth. but what can we, helpless students caught in this paradox, do? write to the MOE? as if they give a damn. i dont know. my life isnt even a life. this nation is going the wrong way through. seriously.
I am very jealous of your freedom from school problems - I’m in the midst of killer term finals at the moment, and it’s my last year as a university undergrad so they are just horrible. :o( There are times when I wish my parents were here with me to show me what to do, I wish I had savored it when the responsibility was not mine. :o)
Chin >> You’re welcome :)
Stephanie >> I absolutely agree with what you have mentioned about MOE. They hardly give a damn about whether us students are overworked or not, and everything is just too results oriented. It’s no point having a degree when you do not even know what you’re supposed to know, isn’t it?
Nieta >> Well, although we do need our parents to guide us at times, having them decide our entire future for us in completely uncalled for. One should have the freedom to determine what they want to be in life, but still have someone there to turn to when in need :)
If you want to pursue your dreams, you have to fight for it yourself. That might sound difficult - it is, anyway. But for one thing, this is life. You may lament about it - but you can’t really do anything about it, can you? If you lament that your life is controlled by the world, then get yourself back into control. No point complainig about it, right?
By the way, you don’t need a cert to be someone in this world. You’ll fine that this isn’t exactly the case in some countries - like America. Or well, there are also successful people in Singapore who didn’t really do well in school. Yet, they have accomplished their dreams. Why is that so? That’s because they want it more than anything else. You can only get what you want when you really want it, and take some action into getting it.
P.S. Personally, I feel that you can perhaps make this textarea box larger.
Xue >> Well, What you says makes sense, but even though the above blog entry may upset you, it does not necessarily mean that I had done nothing to combat this problem. What can we do if we are under our parent’s control? Their usual response will most likely be “As long as you stay under our roof, whatever we say, goes.” I have done my part by telling them what I really want, and that is to go to Polytechnic to study Psychology. But if they do not listen, that’s their own problem. We have no say, no matter how much we fight for it. It is not a simple issue as you think.
What I am upset about is the fact that we have no control over our own lives. Our lives belong to us. Our future is meant to be decided by us, and we have the friggin right to choose our path. If you imply that what we should do is to sit back and take this as “normal”, then you’re horribly wrong. We should stand up for my own rights, and not let others determine everything for us. After all, one should always be independent, right?
Furthermore, you mentioned “No point complaining about it…” Let me make my point. This is my webjournal, and I have the right to write whatever I feel here. If I want to complain, I have the right to, because this is my life, and not yours. Do not take this too personally. I am only expressing what I feel, which is what I had set out to do on my webjournal. Thank for your your kind attention.
hmz… suddenly all your writebacks are so long… haha… and BRENDA DUN EVER WISH YOU GOT RETAIN… you’ll regret u ever say that… it’s always good that you can go one step ahead rather than being held back to do the same thing over again… that will make life even more dread n meaningless… okie wat i feel is that studies are jus to widen ur knowledge… enjoy urself in sch life… although it may seems veri routine everyday, but it’s better than having go out to work… looking at all the anfry and rude faces of customers, ur colleage, ur boss etc… at least in sch u get to see your frens and complain to them… haha… :P
don’t let the insensitive comments of some people bother you, especially what xue has said. u look at stuff thru ur own perspective, n that is what matters most :)
cheer up!
*agrees with keisha* :D
Xiaowugui >> True… True… But at least you get paid to work :P Students, on the other hand get paid for their hard work in the form of MORE work. Well, studying does seem a little dull and monotonous to me after spending such a long time on holiday, that’s the reason for the sudden bad mood…
Keisha >> Xue is not insensitive lah! She is just saying what she things, and what she says does make sense in some ways :) Hmm… By the way, I don’t see Zi An around here… Do you have her contact number? Me misses her a lot leh!
lol mebe abit late with the commenting… but wat der heck :)…
i think ur parents juz want the best for u. for them, a degree is desirable, but for us, a degree is nothing - change of times, nothing more. it is indeed heartbreaking to find out after all these yrs that all your efforts in sch have given no immense satisfaction, only heartache and regret. but perhaps only u can change the perception of ur life n try to c the silver lining. ur parents can only guide u to wat dey think is best, but it is up to u to take the well-trodden path. in the end its your choices that count. if not the choices now, then perhaps the choices in the future. dont be disheartened too soon. there is still a long way to go, and a wonderful life to lead! :)
Yes, you are right. However that also means that your parents take a interest in what you do and they are almost always right as they have already gone thru that phase. I was luckier in that sense in my parents left me to do my own decisions after PSLE. That’s right, I chose my own Sec. Sch. and whether to work hard for my exams. Ask my parents and they would not know I have taken A ‘level 3 times! just to get into a College. Looking back, I think Poly would have been a better choice. Most adults already knows the question you are pondering, “What is the meaning of Life”. Its like study, work till old and then still have to worry about having enough to last till death. The truth is most people still do not see what one really wants. For me, it is time and financial freedom. But alas, I am not working towards that goal. SO thanks for reminding me what I really wants.