Five layers of stress.
Yesterday had been a bad day. As in, majorly.
Environmental Science (ES) class was fucked up. Despite all the studying I did, my greymatter hadn’t registered enough facts to even handle that classroom participation quiz held yesterday afternoon.
I tripped over the very first question, got eliminated right from the start (It was a last-man standing kind of thing), and plonked back on my seat feeling incredibly stupid.
Number two, ES professor wasn’t in favour of the topic I chose for my group’s project. After an hour-long discussion with my groupmates, and the jotting down of the main coverage points on a piece of paper, professor was still shaking her head fervently and going;
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
If you don’t like our topic, just come right out and say it, please.
And so, it is back to square one for us. Having to rework the topic all over again, either to increase the scope or to select a new one altogether.
And it is Week 4 of the term already. There just isn’t enough time.
Number three, my back-at-home self-vocal training was crap. Having recently acquired a mini-microphone to record my singing attempts for playback and critique, I seemed to be lashing out even harder at myself.
However, it doesn’t change the fact that my voice sounded weak yesterday, having uncontrollable breathing spasms mid-song, and just sounding like a sick kitten crooning into a microphone.
And the auditions are in less than a week.
Nobody ever sings a Christina Aguilera song in that kind of voice. (For the uninitiated, the song I’ve selected the audition was ‘Love will find a way’ by Christina Aguilera.)
I am contemplating switching songs, but there just ain’t enough time. So I’ve just to got to stick to and improve with what I already have.
And so the tension continued to build up, project after project, work after work, song after song. But I was still in control - not for long, though.
A couple of emails finally set it all off. Although it wasn’t really directed towards me, the harsh and condescending tones used in the email just somehow reminded me that life just wasn’t peachy-perfect at the moment.
Then, nervous breakdown.
All the crying left me with a persistant bout of runny-nose even at this moment, and yours truly is struggling to fight it all off.
At least I am still coping, I think.
C O M M E N T S (10)
*hug* Take a moment now and then just to breathe, and take it as it comes. Getting involved is awesome in your school life is great, but take a break, no matter how short, now and then.
Cheer up girl and don’t give yourself too much pressure. I’m sure things will turn out fine :) Give yourself a break, a short rest once in a while =]
such bad days are already e rock bottom. at least, e next few days will bebetter! jiayou for singing k! drink more water, rest more! (:
aye, i hate tutors who give vague and indirect coments too. argh
-HUGSSSSS.
smu life. take care babe.
It makes me sad to hear you aren’t doing too well. It’s times like these that no matter what anyone says, nothing will make them feel better. So I advise you simply to hang in there and do something nice for yourself that will cheer you up.
I am so sorry to hear about the hard time that you’re having. However, I am glad that you did manage to cry it out. They say that when you shed tears — whether it be through laughing or crying — it is a stress reliever. Take care of yourself, all right? You deserve it. *hugs*
Sounds to me as if you’re trying to do a wee bit too much at the same time? I can understand the classes, but even the singing? You said it was for fun. Then keepi it fun.
By the way, your classes scare me. Classroom participation pop quiz?? Here, by 3rd year (out of 4) if you have 15 students (out of 180) attending the lecture, that’s called a miracle. The teachers wouldn’t even dream of testing us. We get bonus points for being present.
Why didn’t you ask her why she disliked it? Maybe she just thought it was too much to cover in such a “short” time. By the way, how many weeks does the school term last there. Here, I have 14 (per semester).
Heya~ You are not alone yeah? if you need help, friends around you are just simply a call, sms or msn away. =)
Feel free to approach us or dump your frustations on me yeah? Stay cheerful~
oh! dear you are another lass thinking and trying to be what nature didn’t require and end up being a frustrated and swearing sad sod that only girls have to try to be. grow up woman
Brenda’s Reply: Apparently, it is obvious that you are no less immature than I am by deriving your own conclusions on little basis, and flaming another individual when you don’t know me well enough. (:
Even if nature didn’t require me to be this way, at least I can still work towards my own dreams and goals. The route there is tough, but at least I try.
take good care of yourself babe. don’t give yourself too much stress yea? :D