I’m a quitter.
I was actually intending to take part in the Annual Production Concert for MIC next month, and attended a rehearsal yesterday to check out the required standards since I was pretty keen.
After all, I enjoy the feeling of actually performing, and taking part in an actual concert has always been at the top of my to-do lists.
However, after yesterday’s experience amongst other things, I’ve decided to opt out of this whole thing altogether.
Somehow, I get different reactions when I am actually singing at my vocal training class and when I am actually attempting to audition for a concert. There is just such a huge gap between the level of competency in both situations, as well as my own feelings towards both experiences.
I leave almost every single vocal training feeling encouraged, knowing that I am improving in terms of vocal standards.
Au contraire, I was very, very daunted when I was singing in front of P yesterday evening during the audition/rehearsal. I had given it my best shot. But yet, the expression on his face simply told me that my singing still sucks.
I don’t blame him.
After all, he was there when I did my disastrous performance a couple of months back, and so he already has some idea of my standard. Thus, it comes naturally for him to simply dismiss me as someone who can’t sing well.
I’ve attempted several other songs in order to try to prove my vocal ability, only to be met with the same expressionless gaze. That was when I decided that the Annual Production Concert wasn’t for me, and that I should quit while I was ahead.
After all, my vocal ability is still pretty much non-existent, and by taking part in something as big as this, I would ruin the experience for everyone else. Plus, doing so is tantamount to taking a big step that is far, far beyond my reach.
I will not be able to manage. I just know it.
Just look at what happened last year.
I thought further into the issue upon reaching home from the rehearsal, attempted even more songs in an attempt to convince myself that I can do this. By now, it is quite obvious that my attempts at convincing myself has failed.
I am usually not a quitter. However, I’ve pretty much realized that singing is not for me, and that it should be left to the professionals.
I will still continue on with my vocal classes. After all, I’ve already paid the full fee, and I do enjoy the experience.
However, it will be no more singing for me after that.
It is high time for me to move on to other things.
C O M M E N T S (11)
If you enjoy it, you should completely disregard that evil person with the evil, expressionless gaze the same way he is ignoring you. Just do what you enjoy, don’t worry about others. It’s easy to write and not to do, I know, but it’s really not worth it in the long run to worry about others all the time.
I would advise you to try out anyways. What gets to people is nerves. After hearing that recording of you, I can say that you’re not too bad, you just need a little bit of help. The only way to get better at performing is to do it. The more you do it, the easier it’ll be. Even the greatest musicians get nervous, but they’re just better at coping with it and being (appearing) relaxed on the spot. Besides, what have you really got to lose? If people find you a laughingstock, then they just couldn’t be friends, and it’s their problem anyways.
woman, the brenda i know is NOT A QUITTER…
I don’t think you should worry so much about this, and you definitely shouldn’t say “no more singing for me after that” since singing is something you enjoy.
I understand if you don’t feel up to performing in front of a huge audience (I would be scared to do that), but I think you should definitely at least continue on with singing, whether or not you think you’re good at it. If singing were left to professionals all the time, where would be the fun in anything? You don’t have to be a professional to enjoy singing, ne?
honey…you are a worrywart and a perfectionist…of course that was the result…you must have been a bundle of nerves…relax…maybe try again?
Okay, everyone. (: High time I clarified some stuff.
To actually take part in the Annual Performance, the standard of one’s vocal ability has to actually be pretty darn high.
I’ve watched the better singers get drilled to no end by P as well (who happens to be the co-ordinator of the performance, by the way). But the thing is, the better singers already have the proper foundation and techniques for singing, so they can still improve easily despite the ‘drilling’.
Not to mention that they have stronger vocals too.
My voice is somewhat different, I will have to say. My voice is high pitched, not too steady, and lacks power. (Feedback gathered from several other people who have watched me sing in person before.) Plus, I lack the basic knowledge on voice control and the like. So, having to get ready for a performance within less than a month is definitely something that is out of my league at this point in time. :(
As for the ‘not going to sing anymore’ part, I was mostly referring to how I am going to wash my hands of actually attempting to go public (through performances and concerts) but instead, keep my singing to the bathroom. ;)
But still, thanks for the encouragement, everyone! It’s really been appreciated.
Cheers,
Brenda
That’s a pretty mean attitude to present. I mean how can anyone do their best when you keep shooting them condescending stares. So that was a really low thing to do.
As for the singing, well I assume it needs to be of really high quality. I know how drilling is, I used to get them when I was singing in my junior high’s choir. The teacher kept telling me that even though I never hit a false tone, my voice tended to be too metalic (I still don’t know what that is). So it’s up to you, really. I’d say do your best, if you think that you can eventually master singing. But don’t get so down if it doesn’t work. There are some things we’re not good at.
If you feel you can’t handle it, then no point forcing yourself because it might end up squeezing all that love for singing out of you eventually… It is best to sing in a stress free environment, only then can you do you best… :)
hmm.. actually the vocal courses might be the cause ya know.. cos you’re learning how to sing “correctly” or better.. thus you are still in the process of this change.. still improving and prolly not comfy with the “correct” way of singing yet.. but, dont give up ya! marcus told me u were okay when u sang to him =) promise me you’ll jiayou k? we can sing together and maybe, write a song about that thing in class. WAHAHA.. =P
Re: lack of power - vocals training will help with that. Generally it’s a result of incorrect technique; using the wrong parts of your throat and oral cavity to sing. Anyways. My voice is soprano too :D
ah, e main thing is to enjoy singing! so long u think u sing well, why bother about others? juuuuuuuuuust heck!