Little-Wonder.Net

09 March, 2008

A case of misplaced gender identity?

23:21:12 | Daily Life, People, Random Musing | writebacks (3)

Apparently, it was my relatives’ first time seeing my new haircut - even though it’s been more than a week since I decided to chop my trademark ponytail off. (And regretted the decision since.)

Aunty Olive walked into the room (where I happened to be frantically working on a report), saw my hair and exclaimed excitedly, “Brenda! Your hair! I like it! It looks so funky!”

Exclamation is an understatement. She was practically squealing.

I simply raised an eyebrow at her, mainly because well - I wasn’t exactly fond of my hair at the moment and all I wanted it to do was to regrow at top speed, pronto. So that I can tie a proper ponytail again and get it out of my neck.

I doubt she noticed my expression, as she was out of the room in an instant, announcing to everyone else in the house that “Brenda cut her hair, it’s so short now!” like as if they didn’t notice it before.

I heard the murmurs of my relatives from the room I was in, most of them expressing their approval at my new hair, commenting that I looked nice and well, full of spunk.

My mother’s voice was distinct in the background, though - I don’t like my daughter with short hair.

So typically her. So critical over my looks.

But that aside.

“What made her decide to cut her hair all of a sudden?” Aunty Olive was curious. Apparently, the conversation in the next room about my hair was still going strong.

“Well, she said she wanted to look manly,” muttered my mum, directly quoting what I’ve said to my hairdresser when she asked me the same question on Haircut Day.

Well, I was just joking, wasn’t I?

There was a sudden silence, apart from the sound of mahjong tiles hitting the table.

———

Decided to play with my visiting aunt’s (she lives in Canada and will be Singapore until end March) mind this evening.

She’s the only Chinese speaking aunt I have, and often likes to refer to cousin David and I by endearment terms in Chinese such as 小弟弟 and 小妹妹. (Translation: Little boy and Little Girl). Unfortunately, David and I weren’t quite used to it since we were usually referred to by the aunts by our names, and were growing more irritable by the second.

That was then I decided to be a little cheeky.

“Don’t call me 小妹妹 (little girl). Call me 小弟弟 (little boy) instead,” I quipped.

That was when my visiting aunt looked at me in horror.

“Why would I call you 小弟弟? 小弟弟 will be him (gesticulating wildly towards David). You should be a 小妹妹,” she exclaimed.

“Well, not so. Don’t you think I look handsome?” I grinned at her with a wink.

At that moment, the expression on my aunt’s face is just indescribable - it was a mixture of horror, bewilderment, confusion and to a small extent, amusement. David, on the other hand, already had his hand over his mouth and was trying his best not to reel with laughter.

Seriously, my relatives are sooooooooo gullible.

05 March, 2008

More funny conversations.

21:58:57 | Random Musing | writebacks (7)

Because I love to quote people, because the people around me make me laugh (and I love them for making me laugh) and some of these are really long overdue.

14th February 2008 - Valentines’ Day
I do not have one special someone, but two. So I bought heart shaped balloons for my two special someones - Liz and Mithi, as a token of our friendship, and for being my two lovely sidekicks for the past … two years?

If you are wondering why there are three balloons, the last balloon is for myself. No, it is not a crime to get a Valentine’s Day gift for myself, aye? I love myself anyway. (Haha.)

Balloons make me happy.

Mithi freaked out when she saw those balloons, claiming that she has a phobia towards them and I practically had to chase her around just to make her accept the darn balloon.

The whole episode was witnessed by Mister Professor and I swear, he had the queerest expression on his face. He probably thinks the two of us are lesbians now.

Oh, anyway. Midway during the class:-

“Those balloons look like butt cracks.”
- Mithi.

My eyes grew wide and I had to control the urge to burst out laughing in the middle of the class. Instead, I snorted, and tried my best to focus on my notes.

Later on, when passing the balloon to Liz during the break, I related the earlier incident to her.

Me: “Mithi thinks the balloons look like butt cracks.”
Liz: “No, they don’t.”
Me: “Aha! See?” (Grins at Mithi.)
Liz: “They don’t look like butt cracks. They look more like boobs to me.”

(Facepalm.)

There you go, my two lovely sidekicks. And I’ll never look at heart-shaped balloons the same way again.

Today - Interesting Radio Advert
Happened to notice an advertisement airing over the radio on maximizing your assets, which goes something like “Size does not matter … get your instant cleavage today … no matter what cup size you are … blahblahblah.”

I started laughing.

“Instant cleavage? What do they mean by that? Are they just going to add black paint to make the non-cleavage look like cleavage?”

In fact, the words ‘instant cleavage’ makes me think of instant noodles. Just add water?

Then, my mum popped the weirdest question.

“What’s a cleavage?”

I whirled around to face her, my face aghast.

“How can you not know what cleavage is?” I exclaimed.

“Of course, I know,” she grinned, with a hint of cheekiness. “I have lots of it!”

(Facepalm again.)

Before you start thinking that all my friends (and family) have their minds in the gutter, let me assure you that they do not always behave like that … well, almost.

Just for laughs.

Now, back to work!

05 February, 2008

Corny like corn.

17:32:49 | Events, Random Musing | writebacks (5)

Okay, perhaps I’ve earned the reputation of being Miss Corny.

“…”

M looks at me.

“That’s strange, I expected you to say something really corny in response to that,” says she.

“Corn is good for you,” I quipped.

“See, I knew it.”

“It has lots of fiber and helps you poop better.”

M slaps head.

“Oh dear,” she sighs.

My dear, you asked for it. :P

My cousin’s little bundle of joy (a.k.a my second nephew) turned one last Saturday. He’s turning to be quite the charmer - with really captivating eyes. Oh, and I got to see my other cousin’s four-month old kiddo as well.

I love them, because they are just so silent. They’d just sit there and stare at me, occasionally breaking into a smile. Bring a crying or tantrum-y baby within fifty metres of me and I swear I’ll whack you with a wooden spoon. And yes, I know I have no maternal instinct.

I’ve three nephews now. It’s a baby boom in my extended family. And yes - the photos.