More funny conversations.
Because I love to quote people, because the people around me make me laugh (and I love them for making me laugh) and some of these are really long overdue.
14th February 2008 - Valentines’ Day
I do not have one special someone, but two. So I bought heart shaped balloons for my two special someones - Liz and Mithi, as a token of our friendship, and for being my two lovely sidekicks for the past … two years?
If you are wondering why there are three balloons, the last balloon is for myself. No, it is not a crime to get a Valentine’s Day gift for myself, aye? I love myself anyway. (Haha.)
Balloons make me happy.
Mithi freaked out when she saw those balloons, claiming that she has a phobia towards them and I practically had to chase her around just to make her accept the darn balloon.
The whole episode was witnessed by Mister Professor and I swear, he had the queerest expression on his face. He probably thinks the two of us are lesbians now.
Oh, anyway. Midway during the class:-
“Those balloons look like butt cracks.”
- Mithi.
My eyes grew wide and I had to control the urge to burst out laughing in the middle of the class. Instead, I snorted, and tried my best to focus on my notes.
Later on, when passing the balloon to Liz during the break, I related the earlier incident to her.
Me: “Mithi thinks the balloons look like butt cracks.”
Liz: “No, they don’t.”
Me: “Aha! See?” (Grins at Mithi.)
Liz: “They don’t look like butt cracks. They look more like boobs to me.”
(Facepalm.)
There you go, my two lovely sidekicks. And I’ll never look at heart-shaped balloons the same way again.
Today - Interesting Radio Advert
Happened to notice an advertisement airing over the radio on maximizing your assets, which goes something like “Size does not matter … get your instant cleavage today … no matter what cup size you are … blahblahblah.”
I started laughing.
“Instant cleavage? What do they mean by that? Are they just going to add black paint to make the non-cleavage look like cleavage?”
In fact, the words ‘instant cleavage’ makes me think of instant noodles. Just add water?
Then, my mum popped the weirdest question.
“What’s a cleavage?”
I whirled around to face her, my face aghast.
“How can you not know what cleavage is?” I exclaimed.
“Of course, I know,” she grinned, with a hint of cheekiness. “I have lots of it!”
(Facepalm again.)
Before you start thinking that all my friends (and family) have their minds in the gutter, let me assure you that they do not always behave like that … well, almost.
Just for laughs.
Now, back to work!
Okay, perhaps I’ve earned the reputation of being Miss Corny.
“…”
M looks at me.
“That’s strange, I expected you to say something really corny in response to that,” says she.
“Corn is good for you,” I quipped.
“See, I knew it.”
“It has lots of fiber and helps you poop better.”
M slaps head.
“Oh dear,” she sighs.
My dear, you asked for it. :P
My cousin’s little bundle of joy (a.k.a my second nephew) turned one last Saturday. He’s turning to be quite the charmer - with really captivating eyes. Oh, and I got to see my other cousin’s four-month old kiddo as well.
I love them, because they are just so silent. They’d just sit there and stare at me, occasionally breaking into a smile. Bring a crying or tantrum-y baby within fifty metres of me and I swear I’ll whack you with a wooden spoon. And yes, I know I have no maternal instinct.
I’ve three nephews now. It’s a baby boom in my extended family. And yes - the photos.
I need an exterminator pretty badly, but I have absolutely no idea why my mum’s dawdling in getting one.
Ever since I’ve moved into this new place - I’ve been plagued by an infestation of tiny red ants in one particular side of my room - specifically the bay window behind my bed. (Note: No, I do not eat in my room.) Needless to say, I’ve been finding tiny red ants on my bedside table, the bay-window itself, and the comfortable yellow cushion on one side of the bay window.
Don’t get me started on the comfortable yellow cushion.
I love that cushion to bits. It is supposed to be for me to park my butt on during a bright and sunny day to admire the scenery (which happens to be the poolside), or on a rainy day to watch the raindrops. But I CAN’T do so without running the risk of having tiny red ants crawling on my bottom.
The number of ants seem to be increasing, and in fact - some of them are even getting bigger.
I squashed a medium-sized red ant a couple of days ago. Me hopes that it is the QUEEN ant so that the entire colony can just bugger off and find somewhere else to build their nest in.
Having red ants to contend with is bad enough, but now there are mites as well. I have no idea what their exact name is (I’m a noob when it comes to insect-ology), but they are tiny, greyish-black little creatures that come in various sizes. I’ve seen microscopic ones, as well as some about 1-2mm in size roaming around together with the ants. Plus, like the ants - the population of these tiny grey buggers also seem to be increasing.
So, there you go. Two populations of unwanted visitors in my room.
I’ve been keeping a huge piece of tape on standby for the past two months so that I can pounce on any little bugger I see roaming around. The tape fills up pretty fast, and I have to replace it say, once every two or three days.
As of late, I’ve been spotting a couple of them (both ants and mites) on my bed as well. Now, I fear sleeping on my bed - even though I smack all pillows, bolsters, blankets and the mattress itself before I plonk myself on them.
Can’t wait for all this to end. It’s been almost three months since I’ve moved in and yet I am still unable to enjoy my new room to the fullest.
Exterminator, come quick. QUICK.
You’ve heard of Beauty and the Bees. (Okay, fine. Beast.) Now, you’ve heard of Brenda and the Ants as well. (Although Walt Disney wouldn’t make a fairy tale out of this one, it’s more like a nightmare.)
Heading off to Lalaland now - but I’m afraid there’s a bit of smacking to be done to my pillows and whatnot first. Le sigh.
EDIT @ 7.37 P.M.
What the … ? $180 just for one visit from the pest exterminator? That’s fucking daylight robbery.
Right, now I’m really pissed with those damned ants and mites.