09 August, 2008
A touch of human psychology
23:48:27 | Daily Life, Little Things, Ranting | 
writebacks (5)
I feel like a big, heaving mess of an emotional baggage.
Yes, yes, and I know that human beings in general, tend to withdraw themselves from people like that - which perhaps explains why I am seldom hearing from the people I usually hear from, especially during the past one month or so.
Nobody likes people with baggage, and I must say the baggage that’s weighing on my back now is one … hugebloodymess which is why I sometime feel as if nobody wants to talk to me at all. (Right, I know I sound scarily clingy/needy here but this was just an observation I’ve made over the past several weeks.)
Human beings are queer people. When one doesn’t need anyone and can stand perfectly straight by his/herself, people are drawn to that person like whoa. However, when one needs people the most, everyone backs away.
I think the fact that I am so very cranky and snappy at every little thing that irks me plays a part as well.
Time to put on my big fat forced smile and head out there as I usually do. After all, everyone prefers to be around happy people, right?
————
Blood test results are out and everything checks out fine. The monocyte counts have fallen into the normal range. Still slightly at the higher end of the range, but at least it’s normal. So, I should be happy, right? Instead, I’m still shrouded in a mess of confusion as to why so many things have been done and I am still not getting well.
Meanwhile, I guess I should just chuck my health aside and just move on for the time being. Perhaps if I ignore the symptoms, they will eventually go away on their own? I know this sounds really illogical but it’s worth a try.
Heading to Genting with ol‘ Mum and Dad tomorrow, fer three days. Perhaps the short break will do me some good. Though I really hope I wouldn’t feel faintish while I’m there - the last thing I want is to be the sick person and ruin the trip for everyone.
————
Anyhoo, this is already some time ago - but the wobbly shelf next to my desk has finally been fixed … I think.
I mean, when a shelf is supposedly tethering off its edge and threatening to fall down very soon, it should be fixed by removing the faulty shelf altogether (along with its loose screws) and reattach it firmly with brand new screws?
Well, I received the announcement from my mum that Mister Contractor has fixed my shelf (after three long months of delay after delay), arrived home … and saw this.
If the picture isn’t obvious enough - Mister Contractor had simply chucked a piece of laminated wood beneath the shelf to hold it upright.
Honestly?!?
I could have done that myself, thankyouverymuch. Do you mean to tell me that I’ve been kept waiting for over three months for you to chuck a piece of something under the wobbly shelf when you’re supposed to be fixing it instead?
I could have easily stuffed several thick textbooks under that shelf and achieved the same effect, sans the waiting.
Fumes.
And if you’re wondering what Mister Contractor had to say to that - I’ve to wait another two or so months for them to fix the damn shelf.
Back to square one, I’d say. :(
13 July, 2008
Struggling to stay afloat.
00:27:55 | Ranting | writebacks (4)
Hello, hello.
I’m still alive, barely. Health-wise, I’m barely beyond the pass mark, but still fighting.
As mentioned before, I’ve been plagued by giddy spells (especially when my posture or position changes) and especially when I’m standing up and going about. Nearly fainted on the way to school a couple of days ago as well, which really scared the crap out of me.
The asthma symptoms also seem to be making a return. Awoke yesterday and today feeling as though I had a giant weight on my torso - couldn’t really breathe properly and had to roll about for a while before I can get up for real.
With regard to the giddiness, my favourite doctor initially suspected anaemia - so I was put on iron tablets for about two weeks.
No avail. Instead, the giddiness because worse and even more prolonged. So when I visited him a couple of days back for my weekly review, he decided to draw blood instead.
My mum received a call from the clinic yesterday, informing her that my rest results were out and that I should go back and see him ASAP. The blur receptionist couldn’t provide more details (since she didn’t know how to read test reports) and so we requested to speak to my doctor instead.
Apparently, no - I do not have anaemia. (Yay! I can finally lay off the iron pills.)
However, the report isn’t very good, and he’s considering referring me to a specialist.
He initially wanted me to head down to see him today - but I was still in lalaland and in serious need of sleep, while he closes for the day at 1pm. (And I was only truly awake at 2pm.)
Going to see my doc’ again tomorrow to go through the report and find out what else he has to say, and perhaps seek more reprieve for the giddiness that is still plaguing me at this moment.
Meanwhile, I’m practically going through each day in a semi-consciousness state, walking in zig-zag lines and feeling like fainting up to ten times a day.
Nothing serious, I hope. :(
EDITED @ 3.16 P.M.
Okay, wrong. I still have mild anaemia - a borderline case, actually. So, it’s back to the iron pills all over again. :(
Not to mention other things such as an above-normal white blood cell (monocyte) count, which is a sideline issue not directly related to my intermittent giddiness but still a cause for concern.
Going to be sent to one specialist after another to rule out possible causes, with the worst-case scenario of having to go for X-rays, ECGs and multiple blood tests. (Doc’ says he hopes he wouldn’t have to resort to the worst case scenario though. Thank goodness.)
Meanwhile, I’m still giddy. :(
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