Been thinking a lot recently.
And unfortunately, thinking too much isn’t good - because I find myself getting angry at things that happened many years ago.
People who know and fully understand me (I can only name a few whom I completely bare my true self to - Terra, Grace, Liz, Mithi and Steffe) would know very well that I am someone who is extremely protective of my personal identity and image, and fiercely proud of who I am.
Unfortunately, it also means that I may pick on any harmless remark as an insult to my character, as some people may have experienced first hand. Still trying to change this aspect, because I actually start to frighten everyone away.
However, there are some things that dwindle in my mind far too often.
If you must know, yes - I bear grudges. I can hold a grudge against a person for years and years, and it’ll be a long time before I can become truly close to that person all over again. I may still behave all chummy with that person, though I keep a distance from them emotionally.
I don’t bear grudges over small little nitty gritty things.
Which means that if it so happens that any unpleasant encounter stays in my memory to an extent that it can be replayed so vividly - with the propensity of igniting anger in me all over again, it means that the person involved has gone too far.
I shall not name all of these encounters, although I may relate a couple most distinct ones.
The idiot who lectured me on my choice of course sometime in mid 2005. Someone who barely knows me and still dares to question my choice of future career, insinuating that I am not fulfilling my duty of caring for my parents in the future just because I am choosing a future based on my own happiness rather than one that makes the most money. The idiot who insisted that everyone should be going into medicine just because doctors make the most money, and that IT is just a rubbish course that will soon be going down the drain because the IT industry is dying and blah dee blah.
The entire paragraph above, ladies and gentlemen - came out in less than one minute, which explains the extent of my fury.
That idiot has known me for barely half an hour, and already he is flinging insults like nobody’s business. The best part - he wishes to debate on the future of the IT industry? Sure, I am willing to take him on. However, I don’t see how a one-sided speech can be considered a debate. Each time I tried to get a word in, he’d simply cut me off and accuse me for not listening to whatever logic he’s trying to drill in my head. Like seriously, what the fuck?
Materialistic, money-minded bastard.
I’ll have you know that having more interest and fulfillment in the path I choose to take, to me, means that all the more I’ll be willing to do my job well, which drives my determination to fight my way to the top. In fact, I am so happy with my life (and my achievements thus far) in my choice of course right now, that I’m very tempted to hunt that person down just to go “PAH!” in his face.
Protected: Why we did what we did.I am about to scream - am in honest disbelief.
A university student, and yet incapable of writing a report properly? Worse, said individual is in year THREE. How could anyone survive three years in university and yet churn out such crap reports?
Her first contribution? Several paragraphs directly plagiarized from various sources on the internet, lumped together and that’s her part of her report.
I DEFINITELY will know these things since it is not as if I don’t do research on her portion myself. Yours truly felt a sense of deja vu when I read some of the articles - only to return to her report and realize everything was lifted word-for-word.
So I told her to paraphrase everything and she did - resulting in a report that is barely comprehensible.
HONESTLY. We’ve learned basic grammar and sentence structure ever since PRIMARY SCHOOL. Furthermore, such knowledge has been reinforced consistently throughout our years in the education system. Didn’t you have to write essays in Primary and Secondary school? Or type reports in your higher education prior to university? Definitely - there is no excuse for such ignorance.
And seriously, the FLOW of the report is damn bloody important. Which means that every single legitimate point you make HAS to be constantly referred back to the heading or the main topic (what are we trying to analyze here?), with this link clearly explained.
Also, didn’t my other group member and myself explain the structure oh-so clearly already? Haven’t we already agreed upon where to insert which content and whatsoever? Plus, the main focus of our report has been decided upon - SINCE WEEK 4. (It’s week 13 going onto 14 of the school term now, FYI.)
I see little points chucked here, there, everywhere. Short sentences - some of which are completely irrelevant, arranged randomly to make the paragraph look long.
The best part? She wasn’t addressing the main point of her portion AT ALL.
ARGH.
This time round, I decided to completely spoonfeed her since we’re running out of time. Telling her what she should do - watch her language use, keep to the topic, explained the importance of linking her points back to our topic.
I even REDID one part of her portion for her to use as a reference.
Did that work? NO.
I opened the updated version less than a day ago, and literally screamed. Her portion, I daresay, is in even worse shape than before.
I surrender. I GIVE UP.
Now, I am sitting here and cleaning up her shit, basically rewriting her entire portion for her, with my blood pressure almost reaching boiling point.
HONESTLY?!? URGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
My time should be spent on studying for the impending Final Exams, clearing my Psychology final report, coding for my Advanced Data Management final assignment and NOT redoing some shit (which is not my responsibility in the first place) due to someone else’s sheer incompetence.