National Day 2004 Fireworks
The above hath been the results of my two hour wait at a state land near the National Stadium last night, along with hundreds of other cars with their oh-so patient occupants. Unlike other photographers around, I had to make do without a tripod. Hence, I ended up with several blurry images due to my wobbly handling.
My parents and I set off at around 6:00pm to find a suitable place for fireworks-watching. However, several places were already fully occupied despite us reaching more than an hour before the firing time. The beach at Marina Bay was crowded, and the state land was already three-quarters full by the time we reached there. Parking along the Benjamin Sheares Bridge was next to impossible unless one was willing to risk a fine, due to the presence of several traffic policemen around.
Since the area where my father had parked was partially blocked by the trees, I got out and started to scout around for a good spot at around 7:50pm. When the fireworks finally started at 8:00pm, I was had a birds eye view of the whole scene, using the hood of a parked car nearby as a tripod for my photography attempts.
After which, we were trapped for one hour in a massive traffic jam along the ECP Expressway, along with several other fireworks-watchers who were eager to proceed home.
As the TPJC Bowling Open would be held tomorrow, most of today had been spent on intensive training. Bowled a total of five games two hours ago, with an average of 153, and a high score of 193. Yours truly had been really pleased the results, and I certainly wish that I can perform just as well tomorrow.
Had been conversing with one of my teammates for tomorrow’s event, and she brought up one issue which has been bothering me during most bowling trainings — my attitude. I tend to be emotional whenever I bowl, to an extent that I let my emotions affect my overall performance. According to her, I tend to fumble and make more mistakes when I am either in a bad mood, or downcast, and this can affect the performance of the rest of the team as a whole.
To quote her exact words: “You must keep your cool, no matter what. If not, it will affect everyone.“
Yes, I would keep calm tomorrow. Retain my composure for the whole of tomorrow morning, so that I would be relaxed enough to bowl well tomorrow. I would not let my teammate down!
Whilst I was transferring all my entries from my private journal to its new location here, I realised that most of them were mostly filled with negative vibes. And most of these negative vibes came from one particular topic — Tampines JC.
After sifting and reading through all the older entries, I realised that I am filled with resentment and discontentment towards Tampines JC despite being there for only one and a half years. I really wish to forget many of those experiences related in the private journal, as the mere thought of them would make my blood boil all over again.
Through the entries, I have also noticed that I face a problem towards people in general. Humanity, mankind, whichever you wish to call it. I am often angered over the slightest things they do, no matter how minor or insignificant, and I often take offence at their words, even if they never meant it that way. To quote Regina, I am an overly-sensitive person.
But then again, to be overly-sensitive is my character. This characteristic is deeply embedded within, thus difficult to change. Not that I enjoy being overly-sensitive, because my mind is always filled with negative thoughts and pessimism due to that characteristic. For example, I am currently feeling an immense hatred towards a particular relative because I am constantly reflecting on her actions and personality during my spare time. Looking back, it is definitely a silly thing to do, as it builds up my antagonism towards people.
My mother told me last night that this characteristic was probably inherited from her, as my mother used to have a habit of thinking too much when she was my age. She managed to shake off this habit as she grew, and I hope to do so too. So far, being overly sensitive has only brought me nothing but anger, hatred, dissentment and unhappiness. In fact, it has also brought up my stress level to a new high.
I seriously need to focus on more important things in life, instead of my pessimistic thoughts. For example, that set of Physics lecture notes on my desk just waiting to be opened.
On a slightly different note, my earache is back. The same earache which had brought me three months of torture last year, and now it has decided to make a comeback. The condition was aggravated when water entered my ears whilst in the shower this afternoon. Currently, I am seated in front of this square monitor shrouded in partial deafness, struggling to listen to my mp3s with one ear. Sighy…
This is going to be yet another semi-positive, semi-negative journal entry with regard to the A’Division Bowling Singles Tournament. I had spent most of the afternoon stoning, thinking about how badly I had performed in the tournament this morning. Seriously speaking, the way I bowled today was way below par and had brought about a huge disappointment to me, and quite possibly the entire team as well. Average pinfall for a four-game series was 99.5, which was way below my usual average.
I broke down after the first game, because the score was way below a satisfactory level. Regina, Jacklin and Cheryl tried their best to cheer me up, but to no avail because I was simply too pressurised. Somehow, I had been so tense for the whole of this morning and last night, causing me to toss and turn in my sleep until 4:00am in the morning. I only managed to drift off to sleep at 4:00am until 6:00am, but then again, the only dream I had was that of bowling.
Seems like I have bowling on the brain 24/7 huh? Like what Regina is constantly telling me, perhaps I am thinking too much and worrying unneccessarily.
Throughout the tournament, I was constantly bombarded with reassuring SMSes from Keisha, Jaime and Kevin. Kevin’s messages were mostly encouraging, telling me that I shouldn’t worry as long as I have done my best, and to press on. Keisha mostly nagged at me through SMS, warning me that if I didn’t perform well during the tournament, she’d whack me on the head when I reach home. (Thanks for the violent threat! =P) Jaime, on the other hand, advised me to focus more on the game, and also mentioned that what’s important is actually the experience of a competition.
His message made lots of sense. Perhaps I had been too worried about the score that I had lost my main focus, which was supposed to be the game itself. Thou shalt take his advice tomorrow.
As for Keisha, No, I didn’t get whacked by her in case you were wondering. All she gave me was a stoned look when I arrived at home and told her the news. Then she reassured me that this was probably just a bad day since I hadn’t been well during the weekend. However, thank goodness she didn’t get violent!
[EDITED at 8:28pm, 18/05/2004]
… and Jaime’s advice did work! Although he most probably wouldn’t be reading this, thanks a million!